Blood and Water

Okay, I'm going to ramble for a bit here. Following up from my last note about my family and I moving to Waterford for reasons that were already explained.

How do I start this?

Well, I wish I could tell you that everything's fantastic now that my family and I are completely settled in. But I'd be lieing if I did. Really, my mom, dad, and brother are probably doing much better than I am. Me on the other hand, I just feel so stiffled in this house.

My Aunt Michelle and Uncle Brandon moved to North Carolina a bit ago and due to the sucky economy (yay America), no one was buying their house. Conveniently, my family and I lost OUR house not too long after (again, yay America). I can't thank my Aunt and Uncle enough for what they're doing for us; letting us stay in this house while we get back on our feet. So please, Aunt Michelle, don't take offense of this note because in no way do I mean to inflict pain on anyone.

We moved into my Aunt and Uncle's old house, which is a great house by the way. My brother and I used to house-sit this house whenever my Aunt and Uncle would go out of state. I used to love it here, Robert and I would play Wii all day and slowly evolve into couch potatoes while their dogs, Riley and Lucy chased the non-existent squirrel outside. But after all the shit hit the fan, this house feels hollow. It's as if this certain house was specifically designed to remind me of everything my family's lost. I find myself wanting to leave this damn place more often than I want to be safe at home. I know it hurts my mom, dad, and robert, and I think about how much it hurts them when I stay someplace else. It hurts me too. But instinct tells me that cooping is easier when I'm out in my comfort zone, which is either Allen Park or somewhere near there. As soon as I see the familiar buildings of Allen Park, I always sigh in relief; as if all the nights that I wondered "Why the hell is this happening?" didn't happen. I can relax and pretend that everything was the way it used to be.

In this house, I feel like all I can do is procrastinate. My creativity is almost stiffled because however many times I attempt to sketch or draw, there's so much on my mind that I have to really really force myself to even touch the pencil to the paper. I usually don't even get that far. And it's a shame because this house didn't even stand a chance after we lost ours.

But I'm not going to just piss and moan throughout this note. Day by day, I'm getting over this miniscule personal problem partially because it's ridiculous. But more because I know I shouldn't be focusing on everything I've lost or what my family as a whole has lost. It's a hard thing to swallow because if I think about it, I could write a book about how many things (non-physical) that I've lost personally. Though I think about this more than I should, I'm going to get over it. I'm sure. But I've noticed that my world as I knew it last year, has changed forever in less than a year.

I'm sorry, I meant to just ramble and I'm starting to whine. Hah, but the whole point of this entire thing was to kind of let the public know that my family and I aren't broken and crippled. We're actually healing from the minor wounds, however painful they were, and we're going to be stronger than we ever were. We're given the chance to restart and begin something bigger. We were backed up by family and friends and I know I can speak for my mom, dad, and brother when I say thank you, from the bottom of our hearts. It really is true, "Blood is thicker than water".